An excerpt from The Perfect Pastor?

Chapter 7

ALL IN A DAY’S WORK


Winter was exhausting itself in futile attempts to suppress the emerging spring. This March witnessed a rigorous battle of the seasons, but the brilliant hues of the newborn spring won out like a persistent hatchling. It was Mona’s favorite time of year.

One Sunday afternoon a month the Lee family hosted a luncheon for the new visitors and members. The night before, Melissa, a naturally talented decorator, charmed the usually plain living room with a full bloom of spring. Mona was elated, but had to work hard to keep her little brood from spreading spring color and cheer all over the place. Sunday school could not come soon enough.

Warming temperatures and cheerful buds most likely contributed to an especially pleasurable morning. It seemed everything went well and overall things at church were upbeat. Two new members were formally received. By now the grumpy bunch made it a habit of leaving almost immediately after the service, sometimes before. A couple of the elderly ladies set their watches to ring right at noon. “Since good preaching should take no more than fifteen minutes,” they expected Dan to be finished by noon. If he wasn’t, then too bad – they would just stand up, shuffle to the aisle and leave. Thankfully they sat in the back row. They missed the reception after church for the new members and a special cake afterward to celebrate the new union.
Because the new members brought their friends, and Matt brought a few of his new college mates, the Lees’ living room was filled. After prayer everyone circled their way around the dining room buffet. Mona’s expertise was cooking so she was used to hearing admonitions to open a catering business or restaurant. With brightly colored plastic plates balanced precariously on laps, people sat on the couch, dining room chairs and even on the floor. In the background one could watch Melissa helping Mona feed the children and ready them for their naps.

The format was simple: enjoy the food, get to know each other, and ask the tough questions. Dan enjoyed the tough or theological questions, but nine out of ten times questions were of a more mundane nature. Crystal washed the bite of hoagie down with punch before she spoke up. “I have a question,” she declared almost apologetically and kept her hand raised until Dan acknowledged her. The stylish twenty-something was a regular visitor and friend of one of the new members.
“Go ahead, ask away.”
“Like, don’t get upset or anything. I’m not sure I should even ask this.”
“Don’t apologize; just ask the question,” Dan kindly pressed.
“Uhm, what do you do? I mean, as a pastor. Like, I know you are busy on Sunday but what do you do the rest of the week?”
With a very serious face Dan teased, “Sunday is the only day I work. It’s a great job.”
Most laughed, but Crystal wasn’t sure how to take him.
“He’s just giving you a hard time with his bad humor,” Mona apologized, coming down the stairs. “Dan, shame on you!”
“That really is a good question and I’m glad you asked. I get that quite often. Sometimes people actually believe the pastor only works on Sundays. Maybe there are pastors who only work that day. After all, one could be extremely lazy or a workaholic and get away with it. In some ways it is like being self-employed. You have to be fairly self-motivated and organized to get things done unless you are in a church that dictates what will be done.”
“My old pastor, and he was really old -- older than you, Pastor Lee -- used to say that his job was to study all morning, eat lunch and then knock on neighborhood doors in the afternoons, teach classes and preach on Sunday,” proclaimed a serious college kid.
“I didn’t know thirty-seven was old, Brian. Yeah, what you are talking about was one popular school of thought. A few even hold to that today. So, what do you think I do?”
“I know for a fact that you disciple people one-on-one,” Matt defended.
“Do you do counseling?” asked another.
“Sometimes I offer counsel. Yes.”
“Obviously you have to prepare for sermons and class lessons,” said Matt.
“He teaches then,” surmised Crystal’s other friend looking at Matt.
“Yep. Keep going…” Dan encouraged.
Melissa spoke up. “I know he reads a lot. You should see that library of his! And he visits people in the hospital.”
Scott volunteered, “He also visits people in their home for a spiritual checkup. That’s what my cousin told me.”
“True. Anything else?”
No one offered anything more than the clatter of forks on plates. In the pause three of the young men went back to reload their plates.
“All these things would take up at least two days. Now, what else do I do with the rest of my time?” Dan questioned with a leer.
Mona jumped in right away. “Well, whatever it is, it keeps you busy day and night, practically the entire week.” Turning to Crystal she added, “I know he’s consumed by the work twenty-four-seven. It’s even hard for him to take one day off!” She was a little defensive since she had on too many occasions been the recipient of people’s complaints that her husband did not do enough.
“I really appreciated that page you had in the membership class that showed your average weekly schedule. It was revealing. You really do work ten hours a day?” asked one of the new members.
“Thanks. Yes, ten hours is normal, but sometimes it is eight and sometimes it is sixteen. Depends on the day’s demands. Jane Rubietta says that ‘Most pastors work in excess of 70 hours a week. Seventy percent don’t take a week of vacation during the year, and sixty percent don’t get a full day off during the week.’1 I’m glad I have vacation time that is somewhat mandated by our denomination’s tradition. All right, I have a question for you,” Dan proposed, scanning the circle of guests. “What do you think a pastor should do? And I want you to be honest.”
Again, for a while the only sound was the symphony of the feast. Matt broke the silence with a dribble of mustard on his chin, “Weddings!” Everyone broke out laughing. “What? What’s so funny about that?”
“Got someone in mind, Matt?” one chided. He threw a pillow at his challenger.
“Funerals!” spoke another which provoked more laughter as they all looked at Matt’s target.
“I know you run meetings. What’s that called?” Tom queried.
“Moderating,” Dan taught.
“Do you do the finances too?” Rose asked in her Argentinean accent.
“I suppose some pastors do the finances, but it’s not a practice in our church. Our churches normally have treasurers. In some churches the treasurer is a deacon. The only part I have with finances is when the elders review the budget each month and at the end of the year, and prepare a new one for the next year.”
“Are you the janitor for the building?” Maria asked seriously.
“No. Okay, it’s time to let you in on a secret: pastors do many, many different things and wear many different hats. Because of the varieties of churches and philosophies of ministry you could not formulate one job description for all churches based upon the wide range of views out there. People expect the pastor to do everything from being the church’s CEO to working as its maintenance engineer. Some expect him to be the great communicator, a building architect, the master problem solver, and all around jack of all trades. Excuse me, I’m gonna get something,” he said while whisking off to his home office.